slow it down.

The bus ride home was extremely crowded today. The driver had to keep pulling up to stops, hoping people would exit, then have to tell everyone outside they would have to wait for the next bus. When I finally made it to my stop (which I almost missed because no one would let me off…) I heard all this yelling. I looked towards the intersection and there was a crazy woman standing in front of the bus, not letting it pass. She was upset because she thought the bus was going to leave without her (she was probably right) and it was already incredibly late (fuck LA traffic). She literally stood with one hand on her hip and the other out in front of her, palm faced towards the bus in the universal stop sign. Even though the driver promised to let her on, she still wasn’t convinced and made him follow her across the street when the light turned green again. WTF Los Angeles?

School is driving me crazy. Too many presentations, too little time, and of course, no one even cares anymore. We’re seniors. Come on.

I bought the second book in the Twilight saga, but still haven’t read it. I wrapped it up in the bag so I can’t see it and be tempted to read it before the week is over.

Wednesday we went out to the Standard again. I hardly drank but still managed to get sick and throw up. I was hungover the next day and skipped class. Again. I need to stop going out on weeknights, but where’s the fun in that?

Friday was the first Halloween party. The boys downstairs had a party, so we all dressed up and went for a bit. I was a policewoman, Jime a sailor, Lindsay was Carmen San Diego, and Claire was Sarah Palin. A very diverse collection of costumes, right? We left that party because it was too crowded and went off in search of another party. We heard TKE’s Halloween party was that night, so Jime and I walked all the way to the row, only to find out they were at capacity. Ugh. ZBT was still open, so we joined the pajama party in Halloween apparel. The party was pretty lame. Saw some people I knew. Found a shoe. Put it on. Threw it away. Met some g’s. Made fun of sorority girls getting dry humped on the wall. Took a lot of pictures. Drank a lot and wasn’t hungover. Crazy.

Saturday was an adventure. I finally went to the vegan place, Pure Luck, off Vermont and Melrose. Amazing. The grilled tofu and pesto sandwich was one of the best things I’ve eaten all semester. We also went to Target to find a movie to watch slash buy useless stuff. Some random asian walked by me, then scared me half to death by abruptly asking, “Are you part asian?” “Yes.” “What kind?” “Half Japanese.” “You’re fucking adorable!” Ugh. I was not fucking adorable that day. I was broke down and wearing glasses. Creeper.

Jime and I stayed in that night and watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I adore it. I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before. It makes me want to go to New York. Or anywhere. Or have a day where I do things I’ve never done before. Or change my name and adopt another persona. Maybe I can do that after I graduate. hmm…

Random dream from a few nights ago: I was turned into a vampire and the other vampires convinced me to get a tattoo. When I looked in the mirror to see what they drew, I saw a sheep with a best buy tag on my fucking neck. I was so fucking upset when I woke up because I thought it really happened. Thank god it was just a dream. I think it’s a sign NOT to get a tattoo.

oh. and he called the other night to tell me not to go out with anyone because it will make him mad. he wants me to wait for him in case things don’t work out with her. ya.

love lockdown.

Today has actually been a good day.

I picked up my camera from Conquest. I’m absolutely elated. Now I can take as many pictures of whatever I want as often as I see fit. No more camera borrowing. No more undocumented nights. Just perfect.

Friday I have an interview at a marketing company downtown. It’s only for part-time data entry, but it will get me off campus and slightly more towards the real world. I guess a lot of people who work there are from Seattle. Heart.

K. Now for my weekend update:

Thursday night I went with Jimena and Kevin to an exchange student party. Jime’s Hungarian friend brought us some strange alcohol made form plums…pailinka? I haven’t got a clue as to how it’s spelled. It was pretty good, but pretty strong. Let’s just say I had a fantastic time without having to drink more than two shots and a screwdriver. The international kids we met were really nice. I’m actually looking forward to attending more of their functions.

Friday night I hung out with Jessica and Alex at her apartment while everyone figured out what to do for the night. At first everyone was going out to this party on Ellendale, but after one of Jamie and Lindsay’s coworkers said it was lame, Jamie and Caitlin bailed. We decided that we would gon anyway since there was nothing better to do. It was a decent party once we found the alcohol and a few familiar faces. Of course, it’s ALWAYS the same people. We need to find a new circle of friends…Since the goal of the night was to order TG Express, we peaced out from the party and went back to Jessica’s to consume some pad thai. APparently Lindsay and I were pretty drunk because we passed the fuck out in the living room. I woke up to Raba trying to cuddle with me, decided this was NOT my idea of a good time, grabbed my chow mein and had him walk me home at 4 in the morning.  No walk of shame for me (even if nothing even happened…)

I worked the Ohio State game Saturday afternoon/night. It wasn’t nearly as painful as I expected. We slaughtered them (of course). OSU boys are pretty cute. I really wanted to take one home with me, but it just didn’t work out. Lame. We went to Menlo Blue after the game to hang out with some Ticket Office people, but ended up going to this bonfire hosted by USG members. Jens is hilarious. He knows all the words to every 90s pop song. Incredible. Is that talent? I’m voting for yes. The Boston boy was entertaining as well. I love accents.

Sunday was relaxing for the most part. Lindsay needed us for her photo project, so we had a shoot in Uzair’s front yard. I had to pretend to cry while everyone had fun in the background. Oh so emo. The embarrassing part was that as we were walking down Menlo with hula hoops and brightly colored clothing, I tots saw two people I wish I hadn’t. Ugh. So embarassing. Whatever. People can go be boyfriend/girlfriend or whatever and be lame. Fuck them. I don’t want their life! (So Varsity Blues in my head…) We ended the evening with Fat Fish. Heart.

Funny story: Rory called me Saturday to tell me Cami had been cheating on him the whole time. Karma.

Sad story: I can’t get over it and now I’m almost back to the start. I need to keep moving forward!

I want to have a super intense crush on someone. I’ll work on that this weekend maybe.

Stay tonight and make everything alright.

Lindsay’s birthday week is finally over. I spent way too much money on her. I tots wish my birthday celebrations were that intense.

Friday was the party. I think it was fun, but probs because I tried to invite my friends. Jimena burnt the carpet when a coal from the hookah was blown off the tray by the fan…oops! Now Jamie and Diana are going to hate us hookah-ing even more!

Boys are still stupid. I gave my favorite hoodie to one (no idea why…) and then was super pissed and annoyed the next day. I need to stop wasting my time with boring, unsatisfactory boys. The only appeal of this one was his grad student/TA status. Oh, and that the OTHER boy didn’t show up. Over it. Saw hoodie boy today though and asked him to return it. haha.

Saturday Lindsay, Jessica, and I went to Brent and Derek’s party at Tuscany. I ususally HATE going to Tuscany because of that terrible night two years ago, but we ended up having a really good time. Well, at least Lindsay and I did. Jess was being emo and awkward. Lindsay and I got into a huge fight later that night, but I can’t really remember why or what it was even about. I don’t want to say that because people will think I’m lying or incredibly overdramatic. Both options are embarrassing and suck really bad. Did some stupid stuff. Thought I lost my phone. Turns out it was in Jessica’s car. Go figure. At least I still have a phone.

Getting ready to look for jobs is getting so incredibly stressful. I went to the Bain company presentation tonight and it was fucking intense. I hate Marshall kids. They get so annoyingly into shit like this. I don’t have a chance at getting a real job. I’m going to the CPPC tomorrow to talk to a career counselor. Hopefully they make me feel better about landing a job slash my own ‘unique’ skills and talents. Hopefully.

Yesterday Matchbook Romance randomly played on my iTunes, so I spent a good hour listening to Stories and Alibis. So high school. I associate so many people with those songs…Tiger Lily reminds me of Jordan Mondau and how she loved hearing me sing it…Greatest Fall and Save Yourself screams Rory drama…Hollywood and Vine recalls the time Sam and I skipped first class and bought Warped 2005, which is one of two CDs that changed my life. That’s kind of sad, but it’s true and I love it to this day.

Def called him when I was drunk and upset as fuck Saturday. All he said was, ‘Is this Emily? Bye.’ I still find it highly irritating that he can be that mad at me when what I did was nothing, NOTHING compared to the shit I went through. Then again, I kept going back. I wanted to forgive him. He wants nothing to do with me and that will hopefully encourage me to fucking move on.

I still have a cold. It sucks. I don’t feel like I’m sleeping enough lately. Plus the fucking douchebags that live across the alley are loud as fuck. I want to throw something at them.

Stop these looks and letters.

It’s been a while.

School is not so bad right now. 8 hours of class isn’t nearly as intimidating as I thought. I actually like some of the people in my classes too. That does not happen very often.

Labor Day Weekend was intense. Too much drinking. I thought I was done with the drinking every night deal. I can’t resist peer pressure and I can’t be sober at parties while also being social. Bad combo.

Thursday we attempted tried to go to this party on Ellendale, but we got distracted and ended up only being there for about ten minutes before DPS showed up and closed the party down. We after partied at Alec and Praveen’s place. It’s pretty sweet because they let you draw on the walls with chalk. That won’t be fun for them to clean up when they move out.

The house party Friday on 36th was fun. There were a lot of people there…a lot of people I don’t like. Got too drunk off of Jungle Drank and Purple Drank. Looking back on it, it’s really disgusting that I drank that shit, seeing as the distribution method was dipping cups in a cooler. Very sanitary.

Saturday Jessica had an impromptu get together at her apartment. Raba was there and did the usual ‘I was so drunk last night, I blacked out, did I say anything embarrassing?’ He did; I told him he didn’t because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings by letting him know that I won’t be going out with him. Brent and Derek where there for a bit. It was nice catching up with them because I haven’t seen them for a while.

Sunday was the White Party. Not many people actually wore white, so it was a good thing I was drunk and couldn’t feel awkward. I should have felt awkward for other things I did. Def woke up the next morning all dishevelled and with ‘Official armrest’ written on my shoulder.

As much as I love going on and seeing my friends, I wish they all weren’t friends with each other or just show up at the same parties in general. It’s not a good situation for me because then people know all about me. By that I mean they know all about which boy I’m into at the time. I need to stop my bad habits.

Last night Lindsay turned 21, so we went to the Golden Gopher to celebrate. The bouncer was convinced that Jamie’s ID was fake. It was hilarious slash incredibly annoying because it took to so long for him to determine it’s validity. The bar was pretty dead, but come one, it’s a Tuesday night. Some Mexican guys there were just fantastic…they kept buying us drinks. I still spent $20 on drinks, but it was for birthday reasons so I don’t care. OH, and they bought us roses! I never get flowers! Heart.

I was still drunk when I woke up this morning. Not good. I managed to get it together enough to make Lindsay’s cake, shower, and catch the tram to school for work though. Success!

The Ticket Office is in shambles. I need to get a new job, I just don’t know what I can get without a car. Plus I get paid a lot more here than I would at other places. I need the money, but money really isn’t everything. I need to rethink some things.

Why do I like boys who are addicts? It’s disturbing.

I want to fall in love.